About the blog: Cat Greenleaf daily shares her adventures as she and her husband prepare to adopt their first child. Scroll down the page to leave a comment in the box below.

Hats Off, July 17

My husband's been out of town for a few days, and I'm amazed at how lame I am about proceeding with a normal life.

I haven't been able to keep my schedule straight, I've had to write myself notes about feeding and walking the pets on time, I've been falling asleep on the couch when I'm too lazy drag myself up to bed.

This is no way for an adult to behave! And it's given me renewed respect for single moms, who not only keep themselves together, but keep the kids in line and the household moving forward. My sister is one such mother, and I guess I never really focused in on all she has to do to keep on top of things so well.

I'm going to call her today to tell her what a star she is. Hats off to all the single moms!

From You, July 16

This morning I received an email from blog readers Adele and Orrin Klitzner. My husband and I were so moved that I asked them if it was alright to post what they'd written. They agreed with us that their experience was important to share. So, here's their note: Twenty seven years ago my husband and I were on a quest to adopt our second child. Our first child was a miracle, a friend was in the right place at the right time and overheard a conversation. We brought our daughter home several days later. All of the agencies told us that we were too old and at that point in time there were few options. It was then that I read a story (sent to me by my father) about advertising in the Classified section of the newspaper. At that time that was truly a novel concept. Because it was so new, you had to get over the feeling that you were not shopping for a dog or selling furniture and had to convince newspaper editors that this was neither illegal nor offensive.

To make a long story (our quest lasted for 10 months) short, our beautiful baby girl will be getting married on August 8, 2008, and her sister will be her Maid of Honor.

Trust me when I say that every tear, every moment of angst, every disappointment melted as we held OUR babies for the first time. They are our biggest joys and our proudest contributions to this world. We wish you and your husband our best wishes and hopes that your dreams will be fulfilled. Adele & Orrin Klitzner

PS Just a suggestion. Once you are successful, please do not allow the word adoption to be whispered. We never made the word or the process a secret or a "dirty" word. As a result, our daughters believe as we do, that a parent is the one who loves you, cares for you, is up with you at night when you are sick, the one who laughs with you (not at you) and cries inside when you are in pain. Anyone can make a baby but it takes a parent to raise a child to be a productive, loving member of society… We too believe that in this day and age that adoption and its process must come out of the closet. It is not a disease, it is not a deformity it IS a viable option for those of us who NEED to be parents.

R&D, July 15

Now that we're certified to adopt, we're searching around for the best way to find our baby (babies?).

There's the agency route, which means you sign on with one agency and use their resources and access their network to find a child.

Then there is private adoption, in which couples advertise that they’re hoping to adopt, and then use their lawyers to complete the rest of the process.

That's a major simplification of the differences, and of the processes, but it's a start. We always figured that working with an agency was limiting, and that we'd do private adoption (the term is misleading, because it's actually a much more public way of going about things). But now we're not totally convinced - not for any reason beside the fact that we're just being diligent reporters and weighing our options.

Agency adoption can range from $20,000 - $40,000 from what I've seen, and private can be much less, or even more. So, since the cost can end up roughly the same, the questions center less around money than they do around…I don't know what. That's why they're questions!

If anyone has insight, please share. Thanks!

Thank You, July 14

I got the most surprising email last night. A blog reader had come across an adoption situation she thought might be right for us, so she sent it along. My husband and I were so touched that she was looking out.

There are days when I wonder if I should just keep my adoption thoughts to myself, but when I see the community that is building thanks to blogs, I am so grateful that I'm allowed to keep this one, and learn from others.

So, thanks all!

Money, Honey, July 11

People are always shocked when I tell them the potential cost of adoption. It can be staggering. At the most base level, it can be exclusive. It's not uncommon for a domestic adoption to run up to $40,000, although it can be as low as $7,000 if you're unbelievably lucky. Usually, though, it's someplace in between.

I've avoided writing about this so far, because money is a sensitive subject. My husband and I applied for an adoption grant to help with costs, but we were understandably rejected because we make too much. However, we don't have the savings to cover a high-priced adoption, so we're going to have to look at creative ways to finance this. There are some tax breaks down the line, and my husband's company gives him a small adoption credit, which will help.

The thing that gets me is that we are two well-employed people, and we're still facing challenges when it comes to affording this. I can't even imagine how families less fortunate than we are can handle their bills. Of course, I don't think anyone would think twice about going into debt to get the family they desire. I know we are prepared to do that. But what about people who can't get a loan, should that mean that they can't get children?

I understand that adoption agencies need to make money to continue serving people, and of course birth mother costs need to be covered. Then there are "facilitators" which can be wildly expensive just for making a connection between an available child and a family, but they too can provide an invaluable service, so it's tough to argue with the fact that they deserve to make a living. Still, I feel very sad and uneasy about the fact that some families are condemned to overwhelming debt just because they want to adopt a child.

I'm going to continue to research adoption grants and special programs so I can provide information for those of you who are afraid of starting your adoption process because of the cost factor. In the mean time, check out ABC Adoptions for a price break down.

One Blog Deserves Another, July 10

I spend (probably too much) time checking into other people's blogs, trying to learn what they know. AdoptionBlogs.com is a comprehensive site. So, if you've got adoption on the brain and questions you want answered.

Read up!

Call Me Naive, But... July 9

I did a little on-line shopping with a pregnant friend yesterday. We were scoping out cribs and high chairs and the like. OH MAN! I had no idea that a crib might run north of a thousand clams. And what about bouncy swings? Why are those things so expensive?

Everyone always says that babies don't really cost anything in the beginning, but I don't think those folks have been shopping recently.

Any suggestions for less expensive options?!

Two Sides To Every Coin, July 8

We recently got some bad health news about someone very close to us.

It's remarkable how quickly that can shift perspective. Part of me wants to live, live, live! 'cuz you never know what's coming.

Then another part wants to hide, and preserve what I have by not taking any risks or venturing out ever again, 'cuz bad things could happen.

I guess there's balance somewhere in between, and I suppose I'd choose to live it up instead of closing it down. But still...it's a strange time.

Details, Details, July 7

I have a slight touch of OCD when it comes to the details of my surroundings.

I like each and everything to be in its place and I go to stupid lengths to ensure material order.

As if this isn't a big enough pain in the neck on it's own, I have to crack up every time there's a kid around, because I see my future. Kids throw stuff into disarray. They're kids, it's what they do, and it's ok. I, clearly, am the one who's not ok with disorder, but I gotta get there soon, huh?!

Global Village, July 3

I have a lot of mixed feelings about the Internet, and how much good vs. how much harm it can cause. But it's undeniable that the Net has a way of localizing very global things, both figuratively and literally. I recently stumbled upon a site that made me feel instantly at home, since it concerns two of my favorite topics these days. It's www.brooklynbaby.com Even if you don't live in Brooklyn like I do, and even if you don't have your own baby yet, as I don't, there's a lot solid info here I thought you might be able to use as you navigate this summer in the city. Happy reading!

Here's What I Learned Today, July 2

Through an adoption website, I recently heard of a situation that sounded good for us: A single mother had put her 7 month old twins up for adoption. I called the facilitator, and everything was looking up until I called our attorney.

Turns out that adoption facilitators are illegal in New York State. An adoption facilitator is someone who connects waiting couples with birth mothers who they meet through word of mouth, community connections, and advertising. I've seen the range in their fees between $2,000 and $9,500.

I assume NYS has a law against using a facilitator in order to guard against baby brokering. Hard to argue with that, although I don't think facilitators are necessarily brokers.

Either way, today I learned that we can only legally find a baby privately (i.e. we meet a birth mother through an ad we would place, or someone knows someone and puts us together with a mother wishing to make an adoption plan), or through a NYS approved adoption agency, either here or in other states.

I also learned not to get too excited about any adoption possibility before it becomes an adoption reality.

Babe in the City, July 1

Do you remember that article last year in New York Magazine about UrbanBaby.com? I remember being fascinated by the accounts of how passionate the blogging moms were, vacillating between gentle motherly love and parental militance.

I'm starting to dip into UrbanBaby.com more and more as my own city kid begins to be more of a reality. I'd love to know what you think of the site, and if there are any other baby blogs you like. Thanks!

Certified, June 30

At 11:42 Monday morning I was standing on a pier, watching the Macy's fireworks show being put together. My phone rang, and my lawyer's assistant was on the line, sounding a little downbeat. I was so nervous - did we fail the certification process? Was it over?

"I have good news. You're certified."

Exhale.

Smile.

Details to follow, but that's the news for today.

An Embarrassment of Time, June 27

I am writing this entry to mark this moment in time, since I know once we get kids, it's over!

I'm contemplating what to do tonight, and the choice is embarrassment of abundance. Should we go to a movie, or have a nice dinner at a local restaurant? Should we order in and sit in the yard, or perhaps sit on the couch and watch television. Should we read, talk, do laundry, do nothing?

Ahhhhhh...the choices are endless. (See what I mean? It's ridiculously luxurious!) I just want to remember this sweet time of so much time, 'cuz I hear it's not always gonna be this way!

Internet Dating, June 26

I'm back to looking at adoption websites, and I wonder if it's a good idea. I emailed one birthmother who had posted her situation, and she didn't get back to me. I felt rejected, or scammed, or both.

I also sent a note to an adoption agency who replied that they couldn't work with me because NY adoption laws are too tough.

Again, I instantly took it personally (yes, I realize that's silly).

So…I don’t know. This experience is bound to be a roller coaster, but I'm not sure how much I want to expose myself to. We had pretty much decided to go the "private" route, where we don't rely on a traditional agency, and instead work through other channels (like advertising in small papers and word of mouth) to find a child. But maybe I'm not cut out for it. Maybe it's easier if someone else does the looking for us.Stay tuned.

Justifications, June 25

We are not in the business of buying big ticket items these days as we're saving everything to pay for this adoption. But we REALLY have our eye on a new couch. Ours is uncomfortable and doesn't suit our new place and we can't lie down on it together. Plus, it's ugly.

And even though we found a great deal on a new couch, it's still nothing we should be purchasing. But…here's what we've been telling ourselves: we'll need a big comfy cuddle space when the baby gets here, so we should probably go ahead and buy it. And if we get twins, we'll definitely need a lot of room to snuggle up. SO - we should have this couch, right?

Wrong.

But I wonder: is this the kind of thing I'm going to be justifying all the time when we get kids? Will I green-light a new car because we need something safer for the babies? Or a new winter coat because I need to stay healthy for my children? Or a vacation, because I'll need a break from them? This could be fun!

Parent's Guide to Red Hook's New Ikea Store written by Guest Blogger “BrooklynTwinDad, ” June 24

For all of you thinking of braving IKEA in Redhook, here'a the Dad's Eye View from one of my best friends, "BrooklynTwinDad". Enjoy, and learn!

Xo, cat

Took the twins to the new IKEA today. It was great. Like going to a free children's museum that also has good, cheap food and huge baby- changing suite. But then you actually get to take the artifacts home...Not from some overpriced museum gift shop, but from the huge selection of toys and amenities for young kids. A mini ceramic tea set: $7. A 2-foot light up orange sea horse, $14. Toddler table + 2 matching chairs, $19. A celeb-sighting. Keri Russell (Felicity), $0.

Needless to say, I went home with over $100 worth of things I didn't need (including a pack of frozen Swedish meatballs and a bottle of sparkling pear juice).

Here's what u need to know: 1 - If coming by car, after you enter the main parking lot, make a quick left and park in the Family section. This minimizes the walk to the entrance and the time spent looking for a spot.

2 - If your babies can hold themselves up, you do not need to bring your stroller inside IKEA since they have 2 different kinds of carts you can use: One is the standard grocery store cart and the other is a much smaller cart, that has the same kind of toddler seat, but has no basket. Only hooks to hang the huge yellow bag they give you when you walk in. These cool carts also do super-smooth 360s's...an added bonus fun feature.

3 - If your child is between 3 and 6 (it's actually based on their height and whether they are potty trained), you can drop him or her off in their excellent play space that looks like the Rainforest Cafe meets Chucky Cheese. It's free and there are trained counselors who watch the kids.

4 - Before heading upstairs to eat lunch and begin your tour of duty, grab a shopping cart and take the elevator up. If you don't get a cart here (we thought we'd eat 1st), you have to go all the way around the store to get back to the beginning where the carts are (or bribe a security guard to swipe you back through the staff doors as we did).

5 - Plan to eat a meal here. The food in the cafeteria is great. IKEA is well-known for its excellent and rock-bottom priced Swedish meatballs, which can be had as an adult portion for $4.99 or a child size for $1.99 (includes take home plate/spork and fountain drink). There are other traditional Swedish options, like an open-faced Smorrebord (Sandwich) or standard chicken fingers. Other kids' options include Mac N Cheese and a PBnJ sandwich. They even have jars of Stage 2 baby food for $0.79. If you've got kids in tow, grab one of the tray carts as you walk in. These only-at-IKEA inventions hold 3 meal trays and can be steered with a single finger, giving you an entire arm and 9 other fingers to deal with the baby hanging around your neck.

6 - Right outside the cafeteria is the kids toy section. You will get crazy and sad here. Crazy when you realize just how many cool things can be had for under $10, then sad when you realize that you just found a toy in the $3.99 bin that you paid $25 for last week somewhere else. But the sadness quickly fades as you put your tots down to play in the play area just a few feet away. The kids can test out the superbly-designed spinning seats, table and chair sets or $10 mini- tents.

7 - At the end of your shopping (or just hanging out in a big air conditioned space) experience, you can sample treats at the post- checkout grocery store and grab a frozen yogurt or cinnamon bun at the snack bar.

As in all of Scandinavia, everyone working at IKEA is super- friendly...even AFTER you signed your credit card slip. At the exit, staffers in yellow vests will tow everything to your car or wait with your things while you bring your car to the pick-up area.

In the end, we spent over 3 hours there and had a blast. We didn't even make it outside where you can stroll the new pier on the river (when it's not so hot). And to anyone who is still upset by a large retailer moving into quaint Red Hook...be thankful that it's IKEA and Fairway...places that offer affordable style and taste to all. You could have ended up with bland box chains that are both boring and overpriced.

For Today, June 23

There are some days when I'm not sure what to write. The adoption process can be truly glacial, but I feel like I'm letting you, and myself, down if I don't have a topical entry here on Paper Pregnant.

For today, I can just report that things are feeling more comfortable. I've been saying that I hope this takes a long, long time because I needed to be further ahead in my career, further down the road financially, certain of what we would do for childcare, travel on a far-flung trip just one more time, etc and etc and etc.

I don't know why, but I feel more comfortable. Maybe I realize that all the anxiety is getting me nowhere. But it sure is doing a number on my fingernails.

I Want To Be A Mom, June 20

I have always assumed I do not posses a biological clock. I've never wanted to carry a child, and still don't. But sitting here on the subway, I do feel something.

The little boy across from me, holding his blue ball and sleepy leaning on his big brother seems heartbreaking to me. The little girl going around and around and around on the poll is magnetic, and I'm envious of that mom with her gigantic stroller full of twins.

Somehow, the scene is making my bones ache with wanting to be a mom. Wow. That's a first.

A Walk in the Park, June 19

I had a free hour this afternoon and met my stay at home dad friend in the park with the twins. All I can say is that NYC must turn into the epicenter of cute every summer. Kids in hilarious sunsuits and floppy hats and crazy shades, Mr. Softy dripping all down their fat faces! I was in heaven! Until I tried to go down the slide with Twin A. She howled. Then I tried Twin B, another loud disaster. I felt like an awful mom. Is it possible to be a bad mom before I even get a kid? Oy.

Shopping, June 18

I stumbled on a good resource today: ABC Adoptions.

This site has all sorts of fantastic information on adoptions of all types, discussions of legal issues, and forums for people on every side of this equation.

There are also postings: Adoption agencies seeking certified families, couples looking for babies to adopt, birth mothers seeking families for their children. As I clicked through the pages, I felt slightly unsettled. Like I was shopping.

But just like I'm not opposed to online dating, because a couple is just as likely, if not more, to meet online as they are to meet on a barstool, I wouldn't be against meeting our baby through a credible adoption site.

Yet, it felt so strange to be e-seeking. So strange.

Strange But True, June 17
I must be starting to believe my own hype. I'm writing this from Target at the Queens Center Mall, where I was carelessly browsing the shoe aisle (Mizrahi does an AWSOME footwear line), and I wandered into the Maternity section, lured in by the fashionable summer dresses for expecting mommies. I thought to myself without any irony, "I'm an expecting mommy" and started to seek out my size!

Maybe it's just because I'm tired today, or maybe I'm finally going nuts! Either way, it gave me a giggle - hope it did for you, too.

FOR FATHERS, OLD AND NEW, June 16

Hope everyone had a great Father's. We were down in Maryland, celebrating with my father-in-law, and spent plenty of time on the phone with my own dad, and raising toasts to my husband, a father-to-be.

But one of the nicest parts of Father's Day for us was this sweet and refreshing article in the Sports section of the The New York Times. Enjoy!

Never the Time = Always the Time, June 13

I was speaking with a highly successful mother of three yesterday, telling her that sometimes I get nervous that this isn't a good time to have a child. Both my husband and I are happy with our career paths, we're happy with our personal paths, and maybe it's not a good idea to change course when things feel like they're solid and getting better.

She used the old adage, that there's never a right time, but took it a step further by saying when she got pregnant the first time, she was out of work and her husband was in school. She was so afraid that she'd never be able to re-enter the work force, and she describes the period as challenging one. In her estimation, it's a great time to bring a child into your life when you feel strong in where your life is going.

Of course, my dad always says that "If you want to make God laugh, you tell Him your plans", so I'm not sure any of us ever can say we know where our lives are going. But I do like her outlook, and it instantly allayed my fears. Even if just for one day!

I Beg to Differ, June 12

I just heard that People Magazine just named Brad Pitt the Hottest Dad. Then comes David Beckham, Johnny Depp, and Will Smith.

Apparently, People Magazine has yet to meet my husband! I realize he's not even a father yet, but I know he has all the right qualities. He's responsible but fun, strong and gentle, and if I may say...hot (which has nothing to do with being a good dad, but it's fun for me!)

Beside the hot part, these are the qualities I think a dad's got to have. In honor of Father's Day, perhaps you could tell me what you think is foremost in a father.

Theories, June 11

As we get closer to being certified (basically, licensed) to adopt, we're receiving more and more advice on what DEFINITELY works to get babies to eat, what DEFINITELY works to get them to sleep, to be healthy, to bond to you, to get into Harvard!

Everybody has a theory and everybody is convinced they're RIGHT.

Who's ever RIGHT?

Isn't this all on a baby-by-baby basis? What's right for your kid might not be right for mine, right?

Just looking for opinions on theories. So if you've got 'em, please bring 'em on!

Needy by Nature, June 9

So, remember I wrote I was going to my Godson's graduation this weekend, and also to meet my best friend's new baby? Well, I went. And I met. Here's what I took away: we will NOT be getting a puppy anytime soon if we are planning on getting a baby! That was a really dumb idea on my part.

My friend's baby was lovely and sweet and teeny and magical - but newborns are needy by nature. Cute, but constant. I saw my usually calm and collected friend come nearly unraveled by her son's lack of sleep and seemingly bottomless appetite. She and her husband were never not on duty. I finally realized how full new parents' plates are, and there is NO reason to heap on anything extra.

My husband sighed in sweet relief last night when I told him I was calling off the dogs!

The Twilight Zone, June 6

This weekend I'm attending my Godson's high school graduation. He's 17, and my best friend had him when we were 17.

When I look at him, he looks like a baby, so I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around it all.

I often feel like I'm rushing into parenthood, but when I consider how far along other people are, I supopose you could hardly accuse us of being speedy. (not that 17 is a great age to have kids, but 27 wouldn't have been such a wild concept either).

I don't have a major point here, just that this feels like a milestone weekend for my extended family, which always brings on reflection.

Oh yeah, and that same best friend just had her second child. Refelction Central, here I come!

Good for a Giggle, June 5

A friend who reads the blog emailed us a "sort-of" invite to her place. Thought it might make you laugh, too!

"I want you to meet my son, but I'm almost a little scared that my monster will leave you grateful for your current freedom!! He's cute and funny, but a HANDFUL! Oh, and I never thought I'd let a 1 year old watch TV either. How quickly things change... especially when you realize the only way you can use the bathroom is to distract him with Clifford the Big Red Dog. And before you think I'm a horrible mom, we only let him watch PBS Kids shows... So there."

Lullaby, But Not Goodnight…, June 4

Sleep did not come easily last night. Actually, it didn't come at all. I can't really explain it beyond the usual racing thoughts, anxieties, blah blah blah, boring.

But today, as I'm pushing through my 31st hour awake, I'm wondering if this is how all my sleep-deprived-new-mom friends are feeling? Is it how I'm going to feel when our little one challenges our rest?

If so, I'd like to say it shouldn't be any problem, but in fact, I'm exhausted. Completely zonked. My eyes are crossing. However, I assume that staying awake and alert is akin to building a muscle: the more you do it, the stronger you get. Maybe next week I'll try for 40 hours straight. (See, I really am delirious!)

Boy in the Shade, June 3

We shot a story today about a band called Boy in the Shade - a group of dads who teamed up to make music that they enjoyed listening to along with their toddlers. You can check them out at

Boys in the Shade. I was both tickled and touched by the sweet approach these fathers have with their kids.

Far from the sterotypical father-knows-best dad, they all seem to experience fatherhood with whimsy and adventure. They make it look FUN!

I guess it was intoxicating, because I left the shoot feeling like we have to get our kid right away! Of course, that's not the way it works. So instead, I've already started begging my husband for a puppy. Seems logical, no?!

Bicoastal Baby, June 2

I spent this last weekend in Santa Barbara with my family, and all of their many friends. They all asked about the adoption and when we'd be coming to see them with a new addition.

The average age of the folks in my community there is about 80, so it felt like a whole town of excited grandparents and great grandparents. While the cynical part of me wants to complain about the nudging to bring on the baby, the truth is that it felt nice.

I like knowing we'll be well received, and that, in the absence of an extended biological family, our children will have a family of well wishers that goes on and on.

A Question of Race, May 28

Yesterday, several people we know emailed us an article, which appeared in the New York Times . It explores issues of foster care, race and adoption. For decades, these have been polarizing topics among the adoption community, but for today, I’m just interested to know if any of you have personal experiences with racial identity and adoption that you’d like to share. Of course, we’d love to hear from anyone with thoughts on the article, no first hand knowledge necessary. Thanks, and xo, cat

Something Old, Something New, May 27

This weekend, as so many of us did, my husband and I met up with far flung members of our family at a spirited reunion of sorts. Part of the weekend included a trip into my brother-in-law’s basement to check out the baby gear they’ve put aside for us. There was that gorgeous crib, a stylish, understated high chair, and a baby swing that looked like Eames had designed it!

Everything is so pretty, and well preserved, and we felt so lucky that it was waiting for us. It got me thinking, though, about people with lots of stuff and no one to give it to, and on the flipside, about people who need baby things and have no way to obtain it. It turns out the organization Baby Buggy addresses the issue from both sides. Here’s their link, in case you have, or need, things for the little ones: www.babybuggy.org

Breathe, May 22

Do you ever realize you've stopped breathing? I did, this morning, coming off the FDR.

I was listening to my Indian chants on my iPod, "relaxing" into my day. But what actually happened was what happens a lot these days. I started thinking about childcare, and money, and time, and wondering how I'm going to do it all. People have done it for millions of years, and millions of people do it every day. But I've never done it. And I'm scared.

No big wrap up today, just trying to breathe.

The Headlines, May 21

Not really sure how to approach this without sounding angry. But I am angry. Yesterday we reported on an adoptive mother accused of beating and starving her 11 disabled children.

Of course, my heartstrings are generally pulled when I hear the term "adopted", but no matter whether a child is biological, adopted, or otherwise, there is no excuse for abuse. The woman also gathered more than one million dollars in subsidies to care for the children, but I don't think the money is the issue.

Below are some resources in case you feel like you're in danger of hurting your child, or know of a family in an abusive situation.

Resources

New York Foundling

Child Abuse Information

Dad's Eye View, May 20

I've often blogged about my friend, the stay-at-home dad. Today I decided to open the floor to him, and let him introduce himself, and explain what's he's doing and why.

PP: Why did you decide to stay home instead of your wife or instead of getting a nanny?

"We hadn't really made a plan for who would take care of the twins, but sometime while we were both on leave during their 1st 3 months, a light bulb (CFL of course) flashed and I knew that my wife or I had to be the primary caregiver, at least in the beginning. I was happy to do it.

Years back, I'd joked about staying home and playing guitar for the kids as a career, but I never thought it would actually happen. My wife was more attached to her job AND she trusted me (Hell, I was more neurotic about them in the beginning than she was.)

So that's how it worked for us. I think everyone has to make their own decision about care giving cause every situation is different...a lot of people don't have the choice to stay home. We were lucky.

So after 15 months of this, I'm happy to say that I'm not bored with it. That all 3 of us are changing every day. That even though I started this as a pretty laid-back guy, I sometimes still find myself getting up-tight in some situations with them...and that I enjoy learning to chill-out even more after I've deconstructed an issue and accepted that the problem is usually not theirs. It's mine. And if more parents would just understand that. That, safety and health aside, there are very few things that we bother the kids about that actually matter. It's usually the parent's own loss of control that aggravates a minor issue.

Until the next time I find 2 seconds during the day to write…"

Oh What a (Wonderfully) Tangled Web, May 19

I have a friend who just told me I won't be a cool adoptive parent until I join one of Yahoo's several adoption groups. I have yet to join any (realizing long ago that I'm not big in the cool department), but I do see the benefit of connecting with other parents, adoptive and otherwise.

Does anyone have favorite groups, websites, or blogs you think we should hook into? I'd love to know your thoughts. And as always, thanks for being part of the Paper Pregnant Posse.

XO,

Cat

La Leche, May 16

Since I've started the blog, I've been getting lots of emails with advice and tips, all of which I welcome completely. Recently, one of my former producers sent me this note, which raised some interesting questions. I'm fairly certain where I fall on the topic, but please take a look at her note and accompanying link, and let me know what you think:

"Did you know you can breastfeed an adopted child? OK, so I'm not completely confident this is worth the effort, but it's something to consider... Here's a link: http://www.lact-aid.com/faqad001.htm ”

Thanks!

More Safe Haven, May 15

Last Thursday, I received this email from our adoption counselor, Caren Peete, who is also involved with Safe Haven. I've been meaning to post it, but it seems like every day there's been something else just as pressing. Anyway, a week later, it's still a cool story, and relates to the Safe Haven issues we were discussing earlier.

"On our hotline we received a phone call from a young girl who was near Regional Hospital in GA. She was afraid to go to the ER. Tim [Jacard, President of Nat'l Safe Haven Alliance]just helped her safely deliver her newborn by phone. Her friend wrapped the newborn in a blanket and hand delivered the newborn to the hospital 'no questions asked."

Revelations-May 14 So many natural disasters have transpired over the last few days. All are horrifying in their own unique ways, and then in the basic way: lots of death and destruction.

But something I heard on the news last night about Monday’s earthquake in China has haunted me the most. Because of that country’s one-child limit, many parents lost their only child. They may have lost their home, their income, all their belongings, but I can’t imagine any of that matters in comparison to losing their only child.

I’m not a parent yet, but my heart is twisting and aching for the parents in pain this week. I’m not sure what do with these feelings yet, but if anyone knows of an organization working directly to help these parents, please pass the information along to me.

Buyer Beware-May 13

I read an alarming article in this Sunday's New York Times about foreign adoptions. Even though my husband and I are planning to adopt domestically, I thought it might be worth a read in case you or someone you know is looking into international options. Also, I'm sure that there are bad-acting agencies and agents on the local front as well, so it's best to be slightly on guard, while remaining completely optimistic.

Safe Haven, Please-May 12

This morning, we reported a story involving an abandoned newborn in Queens.

This story is upsetting on so many levels, but mostly because it’s unnecessary, thanks to the national Safe Haven law. Simply put, Safe Haven states that anyone can leave an unharmed newborn in the care of a hospital, police or fire station or ANY responsible person…no questions asked.

Safe Haven protects the infant from the possibly fatal dangers of abandonment, and allows a scared birthparent to take responsible action without fear of repercussion.

Babies who come through Safe Haven are given medical care, and then are generally placed with foster-adoptive families, who will be able to fully adopt the child quickly.

If you, or anyone you know, is in crisis and doesn’t know what to do with an unwanted newborn, please call: 1 877 796 HOPE

For more information on Safe Haven options visit AMT Children of Hope .

Crises averted - the babysitting was a success! - May 9,2008

That's sort of an overstatement, because all I did was watch the parents put the twins in their crib, close the door, and then sit on the couch and eat sushi. The girls went RIGHT to sleep, and apparently good sleeping is a big key to happy babies, and happy babysitters. When I asked my friend how he gets The Littles down so easily, he pointed me to http://www.sleepschedule.blogspot.com/

I think it could be useful to new parents and new parents' friends! Good night

Nanny 911!-May 8, 2008

So, remember that friend I told you about, the stay at home dad? Well, he wants to take his wife out to dinner tonight.

Him: Hey Cat, can you watch the girls? Me: Of course! For you, anything. Him: Great, see you at 7 Thursday. Me: No worries.

Today is Thursday, and I have plenty of worries. All this talk about babies, and I have never so much as changed a diaper. I have never comforted a crying child back to sleep. What if they cough or get the hiccups? Should I call 911? Can I let them stay up late and watch TV? They're only one-years-old, so they probably don't know a TV from a teddy bear. What will I do with my little twin charges?

Thoughts? Advice? Anyone...?!

Born Digitals-May 7, 2008

Today we had a big station-wide meeting where we discussed “born digitals” – people (probably born in the late 80’s) who have never known any reality beside computers and emailing and cell phones and texting and Blackberries and everything mobile and instant and NOW!

It occurred to me that our kids will be part of a generation even beyond The Digitals. What will their reality be like? Will their father fly the car home and then pack it up into a briefcase George Jetson-style? Will they be able to implant an information chip into their brains and eliminate the need for school?

My husband and I always joke that our children will have only a hoop and a stick to play with, and certainly no TV! But will that be possible, or will that relegate them to being out of touch and – even worse uncool?! Oy. I am officially, digitally, overwhelmed.

Blogging Back- May 6, 2008

I received a hilarious and telling email from a girlfriend this weekend in response to my April 23 posting, Daddy Day Care. In the blog, I described how my friend, a stay-at-home father of 1-year-old twins, had grown so sanguine since becoming a dad, and how I hoped that would happen to me. Here’s what she wrote in response:

“I just want to say that your friend with the one year old twins must be [medicated] to be so full of peace and all calm. Because I have never been more of an anxious, exhausted, nervous wreck since [my son] has been around. Babies = insanity. But that being said, we're already starting to think about #2. Yup, totally crazy.”

How Many Hands?- May 5, 2008

I had to laugh at my own inadequacy last night. We returned home from an evening away to find our very lonesome cat Mighty at the door, desperately awaiting our arrival. He does this no matter whether we’ve been gone two days or two minutes.

We came in juggling luggage and groceries and shopping bags and our dog Julio. And, again, as he does no matter how long we’ve been out, the cat leapt into my arms, wrapped his four legs around me, and wouldn’t let go. That’s when I started cracking up out loud – how the heck am I going to do all this with a babe in arms?! How many extra hands do they issue to parents when the baby arrives? How does anyone make this work? Thoughts?

Who’s Your Daddy?- May 2, 2008

On the way to the subway this morning, my husband and I started talking about what The Littles would call him. We have a friend who’s married to a Colombian woman, and his daughter calls him Papi – we love that. Then there’s my brother-in-law, whose toddlers started life in Valencia, Spain, and they address him as Papa – another winner. Of course, there’s the classic Dad, which works, too.

By descent, we are collectively Russian, German, Polish, Cuban, and English. Anyone know the names for Father in those tongues?!

The good news is that no matter what he’s called, I know my husband is going to be an amazing dad.

A Funny Thing Happened On My Way To Redhook - May 1, 2008

I was running this afternoon, thinking about a billion different things (which is great, considering I run to clear my mind) and the main line of consideration was: "Wow, I really like my life, and being able to do what I want, when I want, like running right now, gee I wonder how I'll handle it when things change with kids…" And just at that very moment, a women ran by with her baby in a jogging stroller. I had to laugh. It's no doubt that EVERYTHING is going to change, but I guess I can still go out and enjoy beautiful Brooklyn afternoons - lots of parents seem to! The days might even seem a little nicer.

20 Fingers Closer - April 30, 2008

A lovely man named Nate took our fingerprints this morning, and now we’re that much closer.

Everyone at the Brooklyn Surrogates Court was lovely. As the clerk pointed out, they deal with estates and death a lot there, so they love adoptions because they’re all about life.

It’s a funny set-up at 2 Johnson Street. After going through the metal detector, you walk way down to the end of a long, dim hallway littered with ancient fax machines and broken office equipment. Then, at Room 105, the whole scene changes, sort of. Pink teddy bears and fluffy pillows sit, out of place, on a metal table, trying to soften the hard edges of State Court. Florescent lights make it hard to feel cozy there, but lots of little green plants and small comfy couches go a long way. The staff’s cheery demeanor adds a lot, too. Everyone was quick to laugh and, at the end of the printing, we were both surprised at how much fun the whole thing had been.

Now the prints go to Albany, and once it’s confirmed that we’ve never been convicted of child abuse, we wait anywhere from 6 weeks to 4 months (so we hear) for our certification to arrive. That’s the biggie – our “license” to become adoptive parents. With that in hand, the search for our children will begin.

Choices, Choices - April 29, 2008

Since we began the blog, my husband and I have been getting a lot of questions about the adoption process from people wondering how it all works, and what kind of adoption would be right for them. We're going to share as much as we can through the blog, but yesterday, we got an email from our adoption counselor which might be useful to you if you're thinking of getting started, no matter where you live:

"From today through June 30, 2008, Caren Sue Peet, Adoption Homestudy Specialist and Adoptive Parent with over 17 years adoption experience will be happy to provide FREE adoption information via phone or email. The purpose is to help people make the right adoption decision ie: picking an adoption agency, attorney etc . Feel Free to call 631 366 3434 or email Carensuecsw@aol.com. There is NO fee for the providing of this information."

Good luck, and please keep us posted on you!

Spring Cleaning, April 28, 2008

Yesterday we cleaned out our closet, and made a pile of t-shirts that we'd like to have made into a baby blanket by this really cool company: www.stitcht.com

It was, at first, very exciting to think of all these old t-shirts swaddling our baby - our history enveloping our future.

Then, I got hit with a tiny wave of panic: our lives, our present, will change in an instant...and who knows if we're going to be any good at our future? It's daunting.

The fear subsided, and we're making the blanket anyway. I actually think it'll be a lovely thing to have our little baby cuddled up in our memories, since his or her own history might come with very few details.

Daddy Day Care, April 23

One of my best friends is a stay-at-home dad of one-year-old twin girls. On Wednesday afternoons, he has a sitter for a few hours, and today we took a walk through my neighborhood. An hour in, I realized he's changed. He's gentler, calmer. I want what he has - that serenity. Does that come with kids? Do babies force you to realize how little control you actually have over the world, so you can just let go? I don't hear a lot of parents talking about it, but if, indeed, children bring balance, then what a lovely byproduct.

Slow Going, April 22

The word we'd heard was that, after getting all our papers to our lawyer, we would be sent to get fingerprinted within 10 days. (The fingerprinting is to ensure we have no record of child abuse.) But our attorney's office just informed us that the government clerk who's dealing with our file is really backed up, and it could be two weeks to a month until we get fingerprinted.

We're in no rush, but I'm wondering if this is a glimpse into the whole process. Will it be "hurry up and wait"? Will there be massive stretches of time with no word from anyone? And once we're certified (basically, licensed) to adopt, will it be a year, or a day, until we get The Call?

We're buckled in for the ride, but it's funny: Biologically pregnant people know just when their ride ends. We could be riding a while. What else can we say but: Weeeeeeeee!

High Flying Father, April 21

While the adoption process promises to be a slow one, yesterday, we had a paternal experience of a wholly (holy) different kind. At the end of an otherwise ordinary weekend, the truly extraordinary happened.

In an effort to shape up for summer, my husband and I went for a run (my first in years) around 7 p.m. As we turned onto the Brooklyn Heights Promenade, there were helicopters hovering overhead, police boats in the East River, and flashing lights doting the FDR and Brooklyn Bridge. The scene was dramatic, and we figured someone had gone overboard, or some other disaster had transpired. But nope: It was the pope, taking off from the South Street Seaport, traveling by helicopter to JFK.

Little by little, people started to gather and the excitement began to build. Before long, Il Popo was airborne, and his chopper did a graceful lap above us. While we’ve all seen the pope give Mass to thousands of New Yorkers over the past few days, last night it felt like it was just us – this little handful of Brooklynites – and him, the most famous man on earth. And while I’m not Catholic and can’t say I’m thoroughly familiar with Benedict’s teachings, seeing him lift off above us felt serendipitous, intimate, and so New York. Convinced he could see me, I waved goodbye, and then felt silly when I looked around and realized the only other person waving was a 2-year-old on his father’s shoulders. Oh well, it felt right to me!

My husband told me that the pope had blessed my first run, and now I had to keep going. I’m not sure if that’s true, but I am walking slightly lightly today, buoyed by this neat little gift from the city.

Subway Pregnant?, April 18

Today’s entry has nothing to do with my process, but some other woman’s.

Spring is here, and New York’s women have liberated their baby doll dresses from the back of their closets. These dresses have a tendency to bunch in the front, which presents a massive problem not for the wearer, but for the person sharing the subway with she-who-wears-the-dress. It’s impossible to figure out if she’s pregnant or not. IM-possible.

This morning, I jammed myself into a packed F train at Bergen Street and, through the crush of commuters, I actually beheld the Holy Grail: a seat. I shimmied through the Times reading coffee drinkers and slid next to a women with her baby in sling, stroller at her feet. Two stops later, a tall lady in a cute, smock-like plaid number got on. There was no seat for her, but there was also no apparent reason to give up mine. The ride went on, I dozed a little, smiled at the standing lady a little, and by the time we hit West 4th, both women were giving me hard looks. Finally, the one with the baby offered her seat to the one with the dress. I looked closer – indeed, she was pregnant. I felt like an idiot.

The tall pregnant woman got out at the next stop, and I’m wondering what the rule is on this: Do I offer my seat to everyone in a baby doll dress, or could this be insulting to women who are not, in fact, pregnant? Any etiquette experts out there? Clearly – I need help!

My Kids Might Be Named Ben and Jerry, April 17

The Time: Last night, 10 o' clock The Place: our couch, Cobble Hill, Brooklyn The Crime: dusting an entire pint of Ben and Jerry's "low-fat" brownie yogurt, without blinking an eye, or even taking a breath The Reason: None. So I'm thinking of blaming it on bring Paper Pregnant.

Can I do that? Is there such a thing as Sympathetic Pregnancy Cravings? There are lots of pregnant women out there, and I sympathize! My husband helped out with the yogurt. He, too, is very sympathetic.

Maybe some dads or other adoptive parents can weigh in here (pun intended) and let me know if they've had this issue? If not, I will resort to what I know to be true: I am a woman of weak will in the face of my boyfriends, Ben and Jerry.

Can I Get A Witness?, April 16

Today I attended a funeral for a friend's mom in Philadelphia. It was a big, energetic, Baptist affair, complete with roaming uniformed nurses, on stand-by with tissues and smelling salts for the swooning faithful.

After two-hours of prayer, song, and eulogy, the minister took the pulpit. He based his sermon on the 9th paragraph of the 90th Psalm. He spoke about how, every day that we're alive, we are writing our story.

He asked: If we actually take time to pause at the commas in our lives? What words are so important that we write them in all caps? Is our story honest?

Of course, the minister was talking about writing our stories figuratively.

But I realized that, through this blog, I am writing my story literally, every day. That very act has brought this most un-real process into the realm of reality for me. And because I'm tracking it here, I'll be able to tell my child the story of how he or she came into our family. I'm grateful for that opportunity.

Thanks for reading, for sharing this experience with my family, and for helping me to write our story.

Beware The Teenager, April 15

Teenagers have always scared me. (They probably scared me even when I was one, but who can remember that far back?) They're so opinionated and definite and, these days...big!

Today I spoke at a high school career day, and the very sight of a room full of teens sent me into a near panic.

All this time, I've been focused on a baby: getting a baby, naming a baby, cuddling a baby. But one day that baby will be a teenager, and we will have this loud and large human being...in our home. Probably more than one of them.

It's funny. This is the part I never think about. I'm sure when we watch the person grow from an infant to a toddler to a tween to a teen, it will all seem natural. But today, it seemed daunting. How will we know what to do? How will we teach them and discipline them and protect them?

I guess we will, because people do, and have been doing it forever. But for today...yikes!

Pink or Blue?, April 14

We attended a baby shower this weekend where the parents had already learned the sex of their child. It was great, because they got endless pink onesies, boxes festooned with girlie ribbons, and a box of chocolate from us (Clearly, we were the childless couple in the room, thinking it was totally natural to bring sweets to the mother instead of something sweet looking for the kid. Oops.) It got me thinking about whether we'd get a boy or a girl, and what each of those options might feel like. Everyone asks us what sex we want, and neither of us can come up with an answer. We want a healthy child, who will hopefully be happy and kindhearted and fun.

But beyond that, I have no opinion, which of course is odd, as I generally have plenty going on in the Opinion Department.

Even if we did have hopes for one or the other, it wouldn't really matter. While you can say No to any child offered to you, I don't think we'd be inclined to turn away a healthy baby when the time is right.

But, just for the heck of it, I’d love to hear from anyone out there who's had both a boy and a girl. Are there big differences when they're small? Did you feel disappointed if you wanted one sex and got the other? Do tell!

The Name Game, April 11

I have been playing with names since I first got mine.

I love language and sound, and have always considered names to be more like titles than just identifiers. The meanings are just as important as the sounds.

Now I'm in a funny place on a few counts:

A) The obvious: When you have kids later in life as we are, a lot of our favorite names have been swiped by friends, family, or Madonna.

B) The other half: I like names that are slightly offbeat, a little unique. I don't want my kid to be called the same thing as 6 other kids in his or her class.

My husband...not so much. He has a much more classical sensibility. Not boring, just timeless. So, we clash on potential monikers. Uh oh.

C) The longest name ever: We want names with real meaning and family names make a lot of sense. But we represent our moms and dads. I would only feel right honoring everyone, so right there, the kid has 4 names.

Then we might want to just throw in a name we like, if we ever agree on anything. That makes 5 names. Then, the child may come with a name that their birthmother would like us to keep. Now we’re up to six. You get the picture, and it's a long one.

Well, there's always the old adage about a rose. By any other name, it's taken, weird, and potentially interminable.

All in the Family, April 10

Today my colleague Rob Morrison asked if I’m having any second thoughts. No. But it was an interesting question, because my sister-in-law is pregnant with her third child, in the not-paper way. Yesterday she sent a family-wide email describing her latest ultrasound. Her baby’s heart was beating, and she says that the baby waved.

Reading that still didn’t inspire me to want to be biologically pregnant now, but it did give me a little pause. I realized I wouldn’t be sending out those kinds of emails, and that my family wouldn’t be able to get excited with us in the same way. I experienced .5 seconds of sadness, until I remembered my mom, who was visiting from California this weekend.

She sat on my couch Saturday afternoon, knitting soft, pastel colored yarn into delicate squares. I asked what she was making. “A baby blanket.” I asked who’s pregnant. “You are!”

That made me smile. She’s having fun with this, and I guess that kind of greater family involvement is more important to me than I thought.

My sister-in-law says we’re “gestating together”, which is a kooky but compelling concept. I look forward to more ultrasonic evidence of my niece or nephew, and maybe when my mom has finished her blanket, she’ll email everyone a picture and we can all keep getting excited together!

Life On The Mommy Trail, April 8

Catch up with Cat in 30 Rock as she talks about the blog, the baby, and her new found Sisterhood. Just click on the image on the right to watch today's blog entry!















Step By Step, April 7, 2008

As of today, we are signed and sealed on most of the documents required by New York State in order to be certified as adoptive parents. These include: a list of all our addresses since 1972 down to the month, three letters of recommendation from people who know us, letters from our doctors saying we're in good health, our tax returns from the past two years, birth and marriage certificates and a completed home study. We signed a few pages in the presence of a notary, then sent it all off to our attorney. In 10 days, our lawyer will tell us where to go to be fingerprinted for child abuse clearance, and then we will really be on our way to certification.

From what we hear, it will take between two and four months until we're approved. However, I am already preparing by eating for two, possibly three! I am blaming my addiction to Girl Scout cookies on my "pregnancy" (my producers are such team players, they have hinged their own reliance on Thin Mints and Tag-a-Longs to mine), and I have developed an unrelenting craving for red licorice, which I'm sure is related to my "situation." That sounds about right, doesn't it?

April 3, 2008

I am not physically close to any of my sisters: my sister Carrie lives in California, my sister-in-law is in Ohio, and my sister-in-law-in-law (is that what you call your brother-in-law’s wife?) lives in Rhode Island. But, with all due respect to the men involved in this process, I need to tip my hat to the girls today.

Carrie totally blew me away when, after reading the first blog post, she said, unbiddenly, that I could share any part of her story. I thought that was brave.

Then in honor of my birthday, my sister-in-law sent a box of books: What to Expect in the First Year, Baby Bargains, and Humpty Who?: Crib Sheets for the Nursery for Clueless Moms and Dads. I was so surprised when I opened the box that I literally jumped back as if a baby itself was staring up at me. I wasn’t expecting What to Expect, but I like that she feels we’re parents-in-waiting. I thought that was considerate.

The most unexpected gesture came from my sister-in-law-in-law. Yesterday she let us know that she’d like us to have the gorgeous wrought-iron crib that held our niece, then nephew. They are remarkable little beings, and I’ve always had my eye on that crib! I thought that was generous.

Thanks ladies. I feel like we’re slowly being jumped-in to the parent gang. It feels good.

April 1, 2008

This is a slow process, so I'm not sure how often I'll have "news" to report, but here's what went down today.

At around 4:15 pm, I struck a full on, unabashed, fist-pumping, Rockyesque, victory pose on the steps of Brooklyn Borough Hall.

I'm not sure why (since single people and domestic partners can adopt in New York), but we have to show a marriage certificate in order to file the first round of papers with New York State. And I'm not sure why (since I save every scrap of paper I touch), but we can't seem to find ours. So after weeks of missing the 8:30 a.m. – 4 p.m. hours of the Marriage Bureau at 210 Joralemon Street, I finally got there at 3:58 p.m.

I expected a pretty ornery reception (I used to work for city government, where I could be fairly unpleasant myself), but the most amazing thing happened.

The security guard was already laughing when I flew through the door, because he could hear me racing down the hallway in my ridiculous heels, and I guess he sensed I was a woman on a mission. He smiled and pointed me toward the woman at the window, who said I needed a $15 money order, and that her doors were closing in two minutes. After an unattractive moment when I knocked my forehead onto the glass between us, she instructed me to go down to the post office and survey the line. I protested, telling her I'd never make it. She told me again to go survey the line. I started my wobbly run in the other direction, and the security guard told me to knock on the door if it was closed when I returned.

No line at the PO, I got the money order (and some stamps), flew back upstairs and pounded on the door, which turned out to be over dramatic because the nice man just opened the door and laughed. Then a new lady behind the counter asked why I needed a marriage certificate. I said adoption. She starts smiling. "Domestic or International?" "Domestic." Now she's flat out beaming, and offers me a free upgrade to the "extended marriage certificate" (which just means that it has your parents' names on it, not the secret to eternal matrimony). Then the first lady got back in the act, and everyone was so smiley and nice and there was this nudge-nudge-wink-wink vibe in the air because they knew there was a baby on the way, somehow, from somewhere.

This must be how pregnant women feel when people give up their seats on the subway. It's a great feeling of community, even in a city as big and wild as this one.

March 31, 2008

I’ve always wondered about the virtue of blogs – why people would want to spend tons of time reading the random musings of their fellow humans. Specifically, I wondered why anyone would want to read mine. Most of the time I can’t even stand to hear my own self think! But people do blog, and I am a people, so here I am. I guess we like to peek into each others’ lives. Here’s a view into mine:

My husband and I are Paper Pregnant. We are building our family through adoption, and we’ve just taken the first concrete steps by filling out legal forms. Concrete, paper…it all sounds so clinical and cold. Here’s how it started:

My sister Carrie was adopted by my parents when she was born in 1968. The classic story ensued, and they got pregnant with me a few years later, even though they thought that would be impossible. When I was four, my grandfather explained what “adopted” meant. I understood the concept, and at the same moment, I understood I’d be adopting. It wasn’t really a choice, or a decision, or a rational deduction (to the extent that would be possible in the mind of a four year old). It just was.

Cut to 25 years later, on the second date with my now husband. I let him know that’s where I was headed. He said fine, we had another round, and the short version is: we got married, moved to Brooklyn, landed our dream jobs, and now feel like we should get moving on building a family.

Of course, nothing is that simple. It’s been a journey for him to feel totally comfortable with adopting when we can (as far as we know) have our own biological children. But he took a long, fearless look inside, and we talked a lot – to each other, to people in the adoption community, to anyone who would listen. Now, he’s a fierce advocate for adoption. Then we went through the process of explaining to our families why we were making this choice. This wasn’t so tough, and again, after hours of honest conversations, the troops are on board – as are our friends, neighbors and colleagues.

So now the work begins. I’m going to keep you posted because there is a LOT of information out there, some good, some less veritable, and all overwhelming when taken in total. Through our process, we’re hoping to do the legwork, dispel some myths, and share what we learn. But really, we’re just hoping to be parents.

**I found the term “Paper Pregnant” on a great website: Adoption Mama. Check it out!

See More of Cat's Stories on WNBC.com.